Yesterday was a mile stone for me: my son's 20th birthday. 20 years, 2 decades. Holy cow! How did that happen? When did he become a man? Am I really that old? And the real question is how the heck have I survived twenty years as a parent? As he enters his 20th year and I enter my 40th, we are both beginning a new phase in life, with one major difference. I have no choice but to move forward into my forties, and he apparently hasn't quite made the decision to move into adulthood yet. He is stuck in "I just graduated high school" limbo and he has been there for almost 2 years. I am anxious to see the adult he will become. I am waiting for him to give up the "going nowhere" part time job and think about his future, think about education, think about anything beyond playing the guitar and his girlfriend. At what age does a parent finally say, "OK, you haven't found yourself yet so let me help you out with that"? At what age do we show a little tough love and kick his ass out the door into the real world? I am tired of reminding him to clean his room, and wash his dishes, and pick up his shit off the basement floor. (I think he might become one of those husbands that is a messy slob who expects his wife to pick up after him, or maybe she will get more courtesy than I)? It is time to grow up.
Then I realize that is just what I have been dreading all of these years: my kids growing up. I do love that he is home and I can see him everyday. The other moms are at home hoping their kids are OK on a college campus far away. I love the fact that he is well-behaved, has never gotten into any trouble, is respectful, loving, and just an amazing kid! I know he will in fact be a wonderful husband some day because he is loving, caring, thoughtful, very patient, and he CAN COOK! For all my complaining about his lack of motivation to move into adulthood, I am thrilled that he is still at home with me. He's a great kid and I am so proud of him. He has grown from a little boy into an adult and I am proud to call him my son and my friend.
I love you sweetie. Happy 20th Birthday.